company of three, black peppermint tea

Tag: typography

venality

by cloudier

n., pl., -ties.

  1. The condition of being susceptible to bribery or corruption.
  2. The use of a position of trust for dishonest gain.

someone

by cloudier

I think that the ” other personalities” are in a sense various “facets” of one personality. Actually that’s how some people with DID describe it.

One thing I find interesting is that in those people with DID that I have conversed with (admittedly not many) the other personalities tend to be archetypical: the little girl, the bitch, the old man, etc….

I think everyone has the fundamental components that make up DID, it’s just in people with the disorder, the components are malfunctioning.

Think about all the people you know, particularly your friends….. for each you will have what amounts to a mental construct of that person’s personality in your head.

Say you do something like spill a drink all over yourself, you could use one of those mental constructs to extrapolate what your snarky friend Jack would say in reaction…this may be conscious, or perhaps unconscious to an extent….but the end result is something like just what jack would say.

People often conspicuously perform these sort of personality extrapolations with people they know who have died….they will stand around and someone will say “jack would be looking down laughing right now” etc.

Additionally you have these same personality constructs for archetypes….just as you can imagine what your friend would say in response to you spilling a drink, you can imagine what an “archetypical little girl” might say.

In fact, these constructs are HOW we interact with other people.

If you think about it, it’s impossible to “directly interact” with another person….it’s physically necessary to have a couple layers of abstraction in the communication process: we have a thought, and we abstract it into speech, which the person we are talking to extrapolates into thought.

When you interact with your friend by, say having a conversation with them…you are actually interacting with a personality construct of them in your brain.

It’s something that we do without thinking about it, but if you observe, you’ll realize that during the process of conversing with another person (or “empathizing” with them) you’ll constantly be consulting this mental personality construct during the conversation to help decide what to say, and to interpret what the other person is saying In that sense you are interacting with the construct rather than them.

The mechanisms most of us have to construct and interact with these constructs are pretty good…..this is because you’re constantly fine-tuning the construct based on interaction with the person….but in the end you don’t actually “know” the person…you don’t know their inner-most thoughts, etc….you just know this construct you have created which to some extent represents the “real” them…but ultimately is just a faced (it’s good enough though, so we don’t usually worry about it)/

When you’re interacting with someone you don’t know well, you’re constantly updating the mental construct, but in the mean-time “filling it in” with archetypes.

You have an archetypical construct of a bank teller in your head, that allows you to converse with most bank tellers…you might augment that with a construct of the particular teller by noting they are generally grumpy…etc.

This whole process is pretty transparent most of the time, and I’m not sure I’ve done a good job of explaining it..

…but it becomes more visible when you can see this process break down: one example is when you say something, and your friend reacts in a way that you completely didn’t expect.

This is because on certain level, you’re actually interacting with a mental construct rather than the other person. The construct would react in the way you expected, but not the real person….of course the construct get’s updated at this point which is what allows this whole system to work.

So when we interact with other people, on a functional level, we are actually interacting with symbolic versions of them in our minds. I call this our “empathic circuits” or “empathic systems” for lack of another term.

Another way to visualize these personality constructs for those familiar with computer programming is to visualize them as something like an object or class with properties and methods. This also makes apparent the benefits of this system through “class inheritance”.

We don’t have the “memory” to carry around a “high resolution image”, that is a detailed account of all our interactions with our friends (or other people)…so instead, to have something to interact with, we have a class, a sort of interface…. this personality construct of that person, which is made up of other classes or interfaces (in fact inherits from them). This construct of our friend Jack, probably inherits from “classes” like human, male, and so on, down to thinks like nerd or jack, until we reach a level where it constitues a particular person (instance) or their own unique class.

As I said earlier, people have mental personality constructs for “real” people they know as well as “archetypes”…these could be considered the two “types” of mental personality constructs…two distinct kinds.

In people with DID it seems that “real” constructs are being created when they should be “archetypical . This is what causes the delusion that the constructs actually are “other” or “real” people.

Also, wheras “normal” people don’t really notice these internal interactions, and use them unthinkingly to inform their interactions with real people…. those with DID have “empathy systems” that are on the fritz AND also have an acute awareness of these systems (that may or may not be coupled with an understanding of them) and play with or worry them in an almost masturbatory fashion out of some psychological necessity.

It’s more complex than I’m describing it of course, because this all gets tied in with other mechanisms we have that form identity etc, but I think this is what might be happening fundamentally.

When I dream, I recognise that certain people are there, even though I can’t clearly see their faces, only how I feel about how they look, or how they react to situations. That spiel up there explains why that happens very clearly, and while the details may be incorrect, I like it.

a title.

by cloudier

  1. Linotype
  2. [article: US airport security] The Things He Carried
  3. How lapel pins are made
  4. [image] Homeopathy
  5. About TED Talks
  6. [article: self-driving car] Smarter Than You Think
  7. [flash game] Chase Goose 2
  8. Monty Python: Spam
  9. Monty Python: A Witch?
  10. Monty Python: The Knights Who Say Ni

::ten

by cloudier

(i) tap tap revenge

i think stepmania/dance dance revolution is inherently a better game than tap tap revenge; tap tap revenge is made up of more luck than dance dance revolution since the ipod touch/iphone is a dodgy interface for that kind of game. nevertheless, tap tap revenge is a good game.

(ii) food

feels strange talking about food. sometimes the only reason i eat food is because otherwise i would die.

currently craving camembert cheese on water crackers.

there are so many different types of cheese it’s not funny. there’s even a game about it.

riding off a crunchy nut craving.

crunchy nut is a bad kind of cereal. theres more sugar in it than cereal. although that doesn’t change the fact that i fucking love it.

over a chocolate craving.

it’s definitely coming back in a week at most.

(iii) listening to ministry of sound’s summer sessions 2009, first CD

not going to do another tracklist thing; it’s tedious and uninteresting.

i wouldn’t listen to this CD unless i was going to sleep or something; it’s too heady and makes me stone.

favourites:

  • fragma – memory
  • mighty dub katz – just another groove
  • dizzee rascal and armand van helden – bonkers
  • kid cudi – day n nite

(iv) olivia is making scones. she wants to cover them in melted chocolate.

now we’re almost out of self-raising flour, caster sugar and butter.

(v) i wish i had a camera of some sort. then i’d be able to post pictures of stuff.

[this is where my pictures would go]

(vii) i am under the constant impression that mobile phones these days are loaded with so much crap. but that’s prob because i’m in a crap plan. i can’t recieve MMSs, i can’t go on the web.

(viii) stay on the iphone/ipod touch

$1.19
Anthropophagy

interface is very pretty
when you pick a option in the menu, it crosses out all the other options. at first it’s confusing, but you get used to it.
the game itself is a balance game. you have a block, known only as your ‘friend’, which you keep on the beam for as long as possible, and you keep it balanced by putting other blocks on it. the counter starts when you put the first block down. at first i felt like i was cheating when i played because i used techniques that didn’t include actually keeping the balance still, so it felt a bit weird.

(ix) dizzee rascal and armand van helden – bonkers

I wake up everyday it’s a daydream
Everythin’ in my life ain’t what it seems
I wake up just to go back to sleep
I act real shallow but I’m in too deep

And all I care about is sex and violence
A heavy bass line is my kind of silence
Everybody says that I gotta get a grip
But I let sanity give me the slip
Some people think I’m bonkers
But I just think I’m free
Man, I’m just livin’ my life
There’s nothin’ crazy about me

Some people pay for thrills
But I get mine for free
Man, I’m just livin’ my life
There’s nothin’ crazy about me

(x) trivia

song structure (popular music)

::eight

by cloudier

(i) kerrie, stop using IE6.

you know something is wrong when Google is helping Microsoft.

(ii) music

currently listening to: Chillout Sessions XI (2008), first CD.

tracklist:

  1. Doesn’t Matter (Trentemøller Remix) – Kasper Bjorke feat. Allison Pierce: Love this song. Best part is (4:12) – it has some kind of xylophone and sounds extremely bittersweet.
  2. Weird Fishes/Arpeggi – Radiohead: For me, In Rainbows (album) is love.
  3. TeardropsJosé González: Easy to listen to.
  4. So Sorry Feist: Not as catchy as 1,2,3,4, although that definitely isn’t a bad thing.
  5. Neapolitan Dreams – Lisa Mitchell: Cute name. Cute song too and feels quite happy, even though the lyrics are more on the sad side.
  6. What’s a Girl to Do – Bats for Lashes:
  7. Falcon Job – Ratatat:
  8. Made in the Dark – Hot Chip:
  9. If I Know You – The Presets:
  10. Black & Gold – Sam Sparro:
  11. Walking on a Dream – Empire of the Sun: If you have never loved Walking on a Dream at some point in time, there must be something wrong with you. (:
  12. Electric Feel – MGMT: Electric Feel gets annoying after a while; I like Weekend Wars more – it’s in the Bonds ‘tee’ ad.
  13. Feel the Love – Cut Copy: I have never heard this song before listening to this compilation. Happy and fun.
  14. Divine – Sébastien Tellier: Not sure why it’s called Divine. Also I’m not this cheerful anyway, I like it.
  15. Erlend – Ted & Francis: Seems jazzy but with a strong beat. Somewhat depressing.
  16. Heartbreaker – Metronomy: Whenever I listen to this song without concentrating on listening to it, it gets on my nerves. Otherwise I’ll like it. Strange.
  17. Ghosts (Modwheelmood Remix) – Ladytron: Almost sour/bitchy but heady. Catchy too.
  18. On My Shoulders – The Dø: The singing keeps on going up and down and it gets on my nerves, but the refrain is beautiful.
  19. With You Forever – PNAU:

[NOTE: tracklist will be updated when i’m bored.]

The tracklist seems ridiculously long until you see tracklists for albums like Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness – 30 tracks from one band.

Overall I like this CD though.

(iii) va assignment

A: alphonse maria mucha portrait of woman with peacock feather in a decorative frame 1899

(iv) time – timbaland feat. she wants revenge

she’s too invested in the hours that pass her by

i’d pay attention if i thought it was worth the time

i told her easy but her hands they find a way

confusing passion for the love he never gave

youtube now has a redder favicon.

(v) any patterns?

i wanted each post to have the same amount of points as its name, but putting restrictions on things like that is…restrictive. so it’s not always going to happen anymore.

(vi) blogroll

i’m basically the only person who adds links on the blogroll. just comment or ask if you want to be linked or removed. i also like awesome pictures, preferably 100 by 30, but it’s not required.

blogroll et cetera:

(a) if you leave your mouse over a picture, the name of the blog will come up

(b) also, a screenshot of the blog will appear

(vii) text figures are awesome

(viii) RIP shuttershades.

hopefully i’ll revive you soon.

red shutter sunglasses

red shutter sunglasses