…and the biggest バカ of 2010 award goes to…

by Squido~


*a cricket chirps*

just kidding. it’s me, of course.

*the crowd goes wild*

thank you, thank you. let it be known that today, something unimaginably, ineffably and undeniably idiotic happened to me. by me.

*dramatic pause*

i ran my bike’s rear wheel over my left foot. somehow while still seated on the bicycle seat with most of my weight.

today, i went swimming. i calculated that out of the total 5.5 hours i was at hurstville aquatic leisure centre, 4.5 was spent in the water. out of the 4.5 hours spent in the water, 4 was spent getting in, out, standing around, avoiding old people (especially hairy old men and saggy old ladies. i saw an old plump lady bouncing up and down bobbing in water up to boob-level. it was disturbing enough as it was, but on top of that she needed a new swimsuit. it was so grotesque i think i stared for an entire minute.), huffing and puffing, considering whether i should do another lap or not, telling myself doitdoitdoit, saying nonofine, and doing maths calculations in order to work out how much time i had wasted not-swimming in the pool. and so forth.

that leaves approximately half an hour of doing actual laps. and boy did i do laps!

i’m so proud of this figure… wait for it…
*fanfare randomly plays*
at least!! *hugs self*

freestyle – 18+
breaststroke – 20+
backstroke – 18
squidstroke – 4<
get-to-the-other-end-stroke – 6<

i had done most of the above in the fast lane (no breaststroke allowed). this really good-looking guy entered the lane and swam really fast. i was really impressed. (by the way, i say good looking because it was unexpected and most of what i had seen up to that point had disgusted me… including forlorn bandaids and gum in the water). so when it was just us two at one end, i asked how old he was. i was curious and wondering how long it would take me to get that good, honest! he said he was nineteen and i complimented his swimming skills. that was all we said. he stayed in the same lane until the pool closed. i bet he thinks i'm a weirdo admirer/fangirl now. cool.

i walked to mum's place in a t-shirt and bike shorts because i had to retrieve my bike (she dropped me off at dad's and i forgot i had left my bike at her place). at least 3 men at least twice my age gave me up-down looks. i hate that. it's like they rake you thoroughly with their eyes. and the unfairest part is, i can't get them back by doing the same. it just doesn't work that way :(

i'm so tired :)

did i mention i invented a new stroke? :P squidstroke is fundamentally breaststroke on your back. it's very relaxing.
oh yes and those laps. the pool is 25m long xD