company of three, black peppermint tea

Month: February, 2010

ACHTUNG deep stuff!

by bezzle

lately the paranoia meme (10 people, write your candid feelings about them?) has been making the rounds, not to mention the spectacular love meme (see below).  so this got me thinking.

never going to do that again, at least not at half past eleven when i’m prone to bouts of insomnia.

anyway, i’ve decided not to do that meme as i don’t know that many people that well, and it would be glaringly obvious if i did post my real feelings towards them. 

and you guys who have done it, you’re realising that you should have told these people these things all along.

so instead, i’m just going to analyse myself.  because that will lead to a better understanding of myself, etc.  and maybe, just maybe, you will get to understand me more.

Myers-Briggs personality type:

INTP: seek to develop logical explanations for everything that interests them.  Theoretical and abstract, interested more in ideas than in social interaction.  Quiet, contained, flexible and adaptable.  Have unusual ability to focus in depth to solve problems in their area of interest.  Skeptical, sometimes critical, always analytical.

okay, i’m an introvert.  i generally avoid talking to people, i am a bit of a loner.  places like the canteen at school, i just don’t have the initiative/guts to start talking to a group of people.  but that doesn’t mean i like my own company.  and what our school counsellor said about introverts thinking before they act?  it is totally true.  for me, at any rate.

i once thought of it this way.  you know how your brain is divided in two halves?  in mine, i think one half controls what i’m about to say, while the other simultaneously is analysing it.   this half is almost always analysing other things.  what people are trying to say when they talk to me and their actions.  i’d like to think i’m logical, but sometimes, on the small things, i’m not.

i’m really sorry to say this, but no matter how attached i am to you as a friend, i probably haven’t given myself to you.  i haven’t opened up, told you whatever was in my mind, trusted you without a doubt.  perhaps the analytical part of my brain prevents me from doing this, or i keep everything to myself.

i can be very childish sometimes, even if i don’t realise it.  i am extremely self-conscious and self doubting, but i don’t have low self-esteem.  in fact, i probably have a rather high one.

i think in prose.  my thoughts are exactly what they are written down and i like using big words.

i’m supposed to feel vulnerable after baring my soul to the world out there, right?  i don’t.  because i don’t even understand myself very well.

i should never think after eleven again.

never underestimate

by bezzle

it’s late, but i’ve spent the past hour reading this:

http://horatioandrainbows.wordpress.com/2010/02/26/its-time-for-a-good-ol-fashioned/

there are FIVE PARTS ALTOGETHER AND MORE THAN 900 COMMENTS AS I’M TYPING THIS.  HOLY MOLY. 

i find it very awesome that our grade can manage to generate so many positive comments about others, INSPIRATIONAL, UPLIFTING, MOVING etc.  sorry if that sounded cliched but i can’t find the right words to describe it, people spreading the love.  after reading it, i regret the fact that i don’t know most of those people will, and probably never will ):  go read it and comment.

p.s. amanda, i think you’re a genius.

DET Officially SUX

by lavenderbluf

OMG. Just today I got a letter saying that my broken laptop is not coverable by the warranty. As if screen static and bluetooth problems were my fault. They say it was fine when it was given to me so now the want me to pay $400!!!.

Holy ****!

Like I’ll pay!

Hmph

Words from the top of my head.

by car.

life just moves along so fast that you can’t remember wat happened yesterday, or this morning. maybe i have a short-term memory… or maybe nothing interesting happened. bezzle told us to post, so here i am, incrappinating away ~

.

in ag, we went down to our plots for the first time this year. in the yr 10 area, everybody’s plots were already dug up and hoed into rows. nice, clean rows of dirt. then we arrived at our plot. it was very grassy, green, weedy and flat. so our teacher marked out where the rows should be, and half of us lined up and started piling up dirt. the other half took over after 4 rows. so right now, i think our plot looks very lumpy and bumpy and clumpy, dotted with bits of grass and hay. the first row was skinny, then the following rows got fatter and fatter, and at the end, we have a humungous hill of dirt xD and since we have work experience next week, i assume we’ll have to re-do some of the rows =/

.

english was such a bludge. we finally finished reading macbeth (which is totally EURGH btw) and watched the end of the movie. it was VIOLENT. and very fake. adrenaline-fuelled men jabbing at each other with their swords, hacking off various body parts, and the movie ended with macbeth’s severed head on a stake….EW.

EW EW EW.

i dont think i give enough credit to the ‘blood’shed in the movie. but i wasnt watching half of it… if u want details, ask the guys in our class.

.

i SRSLY DONT GET ANYTHING our teacher says in maths. he mostly talks to himself, scribbled something on the board… then once the board is filled up, he’d rub off something at the top, then write something else over it. today’s double, he picked up nana’s book, saw that it wasnt up-to-date, then sed that he was collecting them at the end of the lesson and giving them a book mark. WHAT?!?!? i didnt mind so much, since i’d managed to finally catch up on most things, and he wasnt marking our latest hw, but there were others in the class who were less satisfied.

“today?! but you sed week 7, sir!!”

“that’s not fair!!!!”

“you didn’t tell us!!!!”

“I don’t need to tell you; you should’ve been up to date anyway.”

“but i haven’t finished that sheet from last week!!!!”

“you should’ve finished that last week”

and so the rest of the lesson, most ppl weren’t listening to wat he was saying (less than the usual amount anyway) and began finishing previous sheets, correcting the questions done and copying down examples he’d given b4. apparently, he goes thru EVERYTHING. which sorta prompted me into checking my own book O.O

all the while, we still had to keep an ear out for wat he was teaching. and i still dont know wat he was teaching us. i got how to do it, but wat are we trying to find!??!?! even yvonne had no idea, and she’s pretty up-to-date.

amist all that, annie was desperately trying to catch up, and kept swearing under her breath (and something just saying it plain out loud, and saying how much she hated the teacher) and then she would bargain with him on handing it in on monday, preferring to finish all her work and getting no marks for it. at first it was sorta funny, but then it just got a bit pissy, since the teacher was getting reeli annoyed and looked like he was gonna start shouting. i hate shouting scenes =(

.

i needa improve on science, since everybody else is so pro, and i’d be sitting there wondering wtheck they were talking about. phys is too much maths for me to handle, and apparently, chem is too hard, so bio it is. im hoping i’ll take an interest in it.

.

side note = is it dumb to go all the way to the station then take the bus back home, which is halfway between the station and the skool!? but that way, i wont have to j-walk or wait for that darn 548 at carlo court. and i’ll come back with my sis. hmmm

another side note = michael su can sing. wow. and his guitar playing is pretty good too. just stop looking so stoned ==” go listen to him (if you want) on his blog.

.

and as alex excitedly pointed out, easter show website is on ^^ wonder who’s gonna go this yr. too bad europe trip ppls are gonna be overseas… otherwise, ben and syd could come, and so could victor >=) wouldn’t you just love that eh? whole day out with bezzle mwahhahahaha.

*not bwahahah or bahahahahh ty.

kung hei fat choi!

by bezzle

tonight, i went to the city to see the twilight parade.

when: tonight, scheduled for 7:45-9:45, but started at 8:10 instead, and we left at 9 something

where: i was outside the exihibition centre

the people: a lot of them.

oh, and i saw linly doing the sword routine tonight! 

in particular there was a woman with a big fortune cookie on her head.  like a V.  and the fortune said, you guessed it, kung hei fat choi!

to my right was a family (and they were, uh, caucasian?  there’s no politically correct term.  and i’m very P.C.  apologies in advance) and it was really random when the mum started taking photos of the chinese grandmother in front.  sparse black into white hair, neatly combed, heavy eyelids, pursed mouth.  and i was thinking: huh.  how random.  and then the mum started taking photos of the grandmother with one of her daughters.  all of this without the grandma taking notice.

behind me was a woman and her toddler.  i got headbutted by him.  and that’s all i’m going to say about it.

the funny bit: at the beginning of the parade there was this loquacious couple behind my dad and i and they spoke mandarin.  i was totally not eavesdropping (they spoke quite loudly) and they were talking about the first act, a ringmaster on stilts with big shoes, holding a whip and fake whipping the lion (two people).  anyway, the couple behind us started talking about how disrespectful it was to whipping a majestic chinese animal, it must be a ‘gwei lou’ idea, etc.  i agreed with them, but didn’t voice my assent.  (i thought it was a dragon the whole way through.  even though they’re called lion dances, i somehow got them mixed up.)

so dad, also not-eavesdropping, laughingly suggests they complain to the organisers, which are about five metres away from us.  we don’t hear their voices for a while, and then later on the woman comes back and tells us that they said that it was ‘a Western lion’, so it didn’t matter or something.

the point as to why it was funny is that ‘whip lion’ in chinese is ‘bin see’ or ‘bian shi’ in mandarin.  both of which, if you take the homophones, can mean ‘slashing at a corpse’.  and chinese are big on homophones.  so not very lucky, eh?

ragequit: well, i’m not sure if it was totally rage, but we left at about quarter past nine?  had back pain, got another telling off from mum about not having enough exercise (hence back pain?). 

to be honest (not that i ever ain’t) the parade didn’t seem very well prepared.  and to quote my mum “there weren’t many performances”.  got home quarter past ten.